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Wednesday, October 20, 2010


Tears roll down my cheek not because I’m happy but because I’m sad because you remind me of the past and everything that I have been through because I see the reflection of myself within you
It’s funny how when people call men pimps and man whores I usually stay away from the men they are referring these names to  but this time something was different  something about you grabbed my attention   I caught myself thinking the other day I would rather you be a man whore and entertain yourself than for you to want to kill yourself because I would rather you be in this world than for you to try to find another way out because for some reason I know that you have something to do in this world your life has a purpose no human has been given so many chances by god
You say you hate how the innocent die young that they die without even wanting to die but you who wants to die is still alive walking this day
You feel like you are not innocent yet I see the innocence in you because I understand what it takes to do everything you can for your kids and what it is to be depressed feel the big hole within your chest  cause they are a missing part of you
Like I said before I had to give up my kids as a last result because when I tried killing myself it never worked I haven’t done everything you have done to yourself but I have cut so deep and Ode on pills and I still lived through out it everyone thought I was crazy and on drugs but if they only knew that drugs don’t even take the pain away for long 
They might give you a buzz but when it comes to the end of the day that pain of not having the two most important things to you in your life kills you
I’m saying two cause I was pregnant with twins, they were my dream I was going to give birth to both  a girl and boy  but unfortunately  I had to give them up    I might be a 16 year old girl but I know to much for my own good I have experienced to much for my age  I had to raise myself as an adult cause I had no one there for me no one to love me I matured before time   I have always thought  different than others I have always taught myself to look deep within a picture to find the truth  and recently I have been looking deep within you  and  I find myself tearing because I wish I could have held you in your  times of need and honestly I’m glad your still alive even if you never end up to be my man  and even if you  just see me as pussy

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